I’ve always wanted to do great things and have a positive impact. I want to push limits and beliefs, and motivate others to do the same. Having such a high expectation of myself and those that surround me is key to this belief, but there’s a necessary step too many people forget – setting up support systems. I believe we can truly do or study anything, but we sometimes forget that we need help on the way up. Someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to brainstorm with, and someone who is on our side.
It's not just about getting support; we need to support those who support us. So many people are destined for great things, but it will take many minds and hands to help them get there. In Malcom Gladwell’s “David and Goliath”, Gladwell talks about the success of the Civil Rights Movement. Yes, Dr. King was an amazing orator – but he didn’t do it all alone. There were others helping him and strategizing with him, including Wyatt Walker, King’s “organizer, his fixer”. Without Walker, we may not be where we are as a country today, though we still have so far to go.
Sometimes you’re Walker, and sometimes you’re Dr. King. Since human beings are such social creatures, it’s important that we give up this “lone wolf” mentality, and start focusing on areas that we need support in, and areas that we can support others in. It can be weird and awkward to ask for help, but knowing how to ask and when to ask are the keys – though a simple “Can you help me with X?” is usually all it takes. Life is only complete when you have those that support you in your trials and tribulations, and you actively support others in their endeavors.
This past weekend was eventful in a few ways – first, I brought together all of my bridesmaids and Maid of Honor together for the first time. They’re all from different stages of life – growing up, college, first job out of college, and newer friendships. It is amazing being part of a group of such awesome women, listening their stories and different happenings going on in their lives. Second, I got my first massage, and realized what a creaky little rubber-band I’ve been; it’s a wonder I haven’t broken into two yet.
These two events seemingly don’t have anything in common – one is with friends, one is with a stranger. One is loud and boisterous, and one has Zen music. Yet to me, it was exactly what my weekend really needed – support. Not only am I getting together the women who will be supporting me on my wedding day, but they’ve supported me through thick and thin. When I haven’t felt at home in my hometown, when I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression, when I’ve gone through horrible exams at school, when I’ve been frustrated with the corporate ladder and tried to kick it down (only stubbing my toe in the process) – they’ve been the sounding boards, the voices of reason, and together, they’ve provided endless support through all my little ventures.
It’s important to support yourself – some call this self-care. Setting aside time for your needs, feelings, and desires leaves you more focused on what you should prioritize – and what you should support. Whether it’s financial support, through volunteering your time or expertise, simply calling or texting a friend or acquaintance, or supporting someone online, it’s important to voice your opinion and show your values through action.